Category Archives: Uncategorized

Forgive me, WordPress, for I have sinned.

It’s been OVER A MONTH SINCE MY LAST CONFESSION POST?!!!!

Okay, WordPress. Let me be upfront with you:

It’s too much of an effort to post here.

With every inkling of an idea, I find I must set out to write a masterpiece of a blog because this is an important site, and serious bloggers post here.

And you know what? I have written some really good posts here.

But whether you intend to or not, you intimidate me, WordPress.

Also, no one reads me here.

(I don’t wish to insult my readers; you are NOT a nobody! It’s just that your numbers are few. It’s demoralizing to put your heart – and your tired brain – into an essay and have it seen by only twenty people, on average.)

I began blogging on Tumblr, and for some reason I left.

I can’t even remember why. It was probably something as stupid as not being able to find a theme I liked.

But I had regular readers there. Not in the several hundreds, like my other Tumblr account. But nearly triple digits.

As much as Tumblr users complain about the antiquated platform, and gripe about its inability to provide a traditional comment thread, there’s one thing Tumblr has that neither WordPress nor Blogger have: the Dashboard.

The Dashboard helps to bring bloggers and readers together in real time, so that when I post something, I can get immediate feedback. I like that about Tumblr. There are many things I don’t like about it, but I’m fond of the interaction that blogging site allows.

So….it’s come to this:

I’m going to pick up where I left off here (and perhaps pack up some of my published posts) and move back home.

I hope you’ll follow me there.

Or at least check in from time to time.

Find me here: Hurty Words

Thanks again for reading and caring enough to make a comment every once in a while.

Sincerely,

Nancy

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This May or May Not be about Breastfeeding

In light of the recent TIME magazine brouhaha,
this sentiment also applies to moms who bully other moms.
Your way is not necessarily the only way.
Step off of your imaginary soapbox and stop judging other people.
Or if you must judge, keep your nasty mouth shut.
Hopefully, your kids won’t grow up to be like you.

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U Don’t Get Me

It was Spring, 2010. I was in the basement, doing my typical run/walk workout on my in-home treadmill, and keeping myself company with the nonsensical fluff they air on the E! channel (think anything Kardashian, Top 100 Most Shocking Reality TV Moments, etc.). I can’t watch anything too heavy while I’m working out because  it’s physically painful to exert both my body and my brain simultaneously, so I was kind of half-watching the screen and half-monitoring my “laps” when this commercial grabbed my attention:

“How spot on!” I thought (no pun intended). Kotex understands that the feminine protection industry has for years bombarded the viewing public with ridiculous images of women reveling in the wonder of their monthly “gift.” But here, the brand captured every cliche used throughout the decades and successfully mocked it in a 30-second spot.

The commercial also had people talking (and sharing) via the social networking sites. It was certainly a breakthrough ad. I don’t know how it impacted the company’s business, but it certainly must have increased awareness for what I perceive is a second-tier brand – behind Procter & Gamble’s Always and Tampax.

However, what I’ve learned in the past two days has made me think Kimberly-Clark (the company behind the Kotex brand) really doesn’t understand me too well, after all.

They’re absolutely correct in that women have to find ways to sneak their feminine products into the bathroom when they’re in a public place. We don’t want to boldly announce that we have our periods – usually, the people in our lives can tell just by our uptick in crazy, tearful behavior – because there’s no way to walk around with a tampon or pad in hand and not feel like you’re revealing too much information about yourself.

So, tell me Kotex, how does wrapping a tampon in brightly colored plastic make it easier to hide the fact that we have our periods?

Oh! You’re saying we don’t need to be ashamed anymore because now our tampons are pretty. Also, women are a lot freer and less uptight these days. I get it!

We are a lot freer and less uptight these days. But does that mean we’re any less embarrassed by the fact that we’re on the rag. Some things don’t change, and no matter how bold and free I feel to talk about matters that used to be taboo years ago, I still don’t want the world to know my “friend”  (or my “aunt.” Whatever…) is in town.

So, dressing up your products in bright, dayglo packaging makes it even harder for me to unobtrusively transport my tampon from Point A to Point B, and no matter how funny your commercial and no matter how cool you think you are, I’m not going to buy your product because it’s positioned as the cool, hipster brand.

Of course, it’s possible I’m no longer considered part of the target market. I hate to say it, but it won’t be long now before I won’t need these kinds of products anymore. And perhaps the new generation of women feel comfortable letting the world know when it’s their time of the month. I’d be interested to know if that’s true.

In the meantime, I’ll continue to slip my tampon in my sleeve at dinner parties and let no one be the wiser. Although I do tend to speak my mind, I like to reserve some room for a little mystery in my life.

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Kinda Kraft-y If You Ask Me

Ya ever notice how it’s so much harder to open the lid of the Parmesan cheese on the three-holed side than on the gaping-hole side?  

Think that’s by accident?

The marketing geniuses over at Kraft have figured out a way to make you buy more cheese.

Of course, that’s only a theory.

But one that’s likely backed up by hundreds of market research hours.

We lazy Americans will go to no extreme effort to powder up our heaping plates of noodles.

You don’t even have to research that one.

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Bah, Humbug!

I know.

I KNOW!

It’s too early for anything Christmas. You’re just getting used to seeing Halloween candy in the stores.

However, if you’re the type who sends out holiday cards, you’ll probably have to start thinking about this sooner rather than later.

I’ve created a card that you can customize on Zazzle. Just click on the photo above and it will link you to the page where you can write your own text in the talk bubble.

Maybe you don’t feel like doing this today.

Perhaps not even in the next couple of weeks.

But before you know it you’re eating turkey and it’s already December.

Just something to consider…

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Universal Music Group Hates Children! (It’s only a joke.)

Last April, the family took a trip to Club Med’s Sandpiper resort in Florida.

What’s great about the family-oriented Club Med properties is that they literally steal your kids for eight hours straight. Of course, they return them in time for dinner, but then sometimes you get to unload them again for special night-time performances in which they are the stars!

Now let me be honest: these shows are awful! But, that’s not the point. The performances give you the opportunity to use your Flip-Cam and get the requisite  footage of your children, who are otherwise missing in action during daytime hours.

“How bad can it be?” you ask. Well, watch a minute or so of this video. You probably won’t even make it that far.

When I posted this on YouTube, I didn’t expect anyone to even notice it, let alone view it. It’s there primarily for the grandparents who are somehow able to stomach much more of this kind of crap than I am.

But then I received this message in my inbox today:

So I clicked on link to learn more:

Does UMG actually see this amateur (totally amateur, by the way. Did you see the camera-work?) as copyright infringement?  Does it look like I’m trying to promote anything with this clip?  I wonder who polices these videos and reports back to the corporate giants. Are they laughing at the absurdity of it all as they’re sending this information to their supervisors?

Not that I care if people in Germany are blocked from seeing this masterpiece. And I’m not curious enough to inquire why it’s only Germany that’s blocked.

I just want to know how a video that’s been viewed a total of nine times is going to impact K’naan and/or sales of “Wavin’ the Flag.”

It’s a rhetorical question; I don’t expect an answer.

But since I might expect to be accused of libeling UMG in my post’s title above, I was careful to provide the parenthetical disclaimer next to it. I typically get less than 20 readers per day, but you can’t be too careful. I don’t think lawyers really understand sarcasm.

(Once again…just a joke.)

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Hello, Fall Weather! (Sniff sniff)

Everyone I’ve spoken to today is all “Hooray for September!” and “I love the Fall!”  I can understand that. You’re tired of the sweltering heat. I also like the cooler temperatures that have swept through the midwest within the last 24 hours.

But I’ll be damned if I haven’t already contracted the first “transitional” upper-respiratory illness.

I don’t know if it’s a medically recognized thing, but for me what’s most common about the common cold is that I get it as soon as the weather changes.

I’ve been in a fog all day (and I haven’t even taken a single over-the-counter pill). My nose is runny, my head aches, I’m sneezing like a mofo, and I don’t really have much of an appetite.

I realize this blog is supposed to be about stuff that annoys me, but today I really don’t have the energy to rant.

I’m exhausted. I’m thirsty!  And although I’m not much of juice person, I was craving something a little more flavorful than water this evening.

V8-Fusion Acai Mixed Berry Flavor

Now, maybe it’s the fog talking, but ZOMG! THIS IS THE BEST JUICE I’VE EVER TASTED!

I bought it for my vegetable-averse son, and he thinks it’s “alright” (he never gets too excited about anything unless it’s spelled “cake”), but I’m afraid my poor boy is going to be deprived of his veggie servings because his mom just drank up all the juice!

Seriously…it’s the perfect combination of sweet and tart. I haven’t checked the calorie count (and frankly, I’m afraid to do that), so we’ll see if I’ll be cursing out this beverage come next week. But for now, this is the best thing that’s happened to me today.

Okay. Gonna top this off with a little Nyquil and hopefully sleep off the delirium.

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