Category Archives: Hair

In THIS country, we say Sub-LYME!

The other night, like I always do, I was watching reruns of “Friends” on late-night TV (Shut up! That show never gets stale!) and as I was drifting off to sleep, I saw this commercial:

In my half-dozing state, something didn’t sound quite right to me. It was that damn word, “sublime.”

Sub-LEEM?!

Are you kidding me?

Listen, L’Oréal Paris! You’re not gonna impress me with yer fancy French accent. You’re not some upscale designer brand…you’re the fucking hair line that I buy in my local drugstore. That you pronounce it sub-leem makes me roll my eyes and and laugh at you.

But what I really wonder is why you changed your campaign to include this different pronunciation. I was doing a bit of research on YouTube today and found this earlier ad:

What gives, Frenchy? Do you think Americans are so easily duped that they’ll buy a product simply because it sounds European?

Perhaps some are, but not me!

Well! Glad I could get that off my chest.

If you need me, I’ll be at good ol’ Seattle-based Starbucks enjoying an Espresso Macchiato.

Wait…

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Will I See It In My Lifetime?

Are you old enough to remember these images?

If not, maybe one of Charlie’s Angels can help jog your memory:

When that commercial aired, I was an impressionable, frizzy-haired preteen who desperately needed to believe what Jaclyn Smith was telling me: Wella Balsam was going to magically fuse my split ends into beautiful, glossy, seamless strands!

However, shampoo can’t perform miracles. I learned that the hard way.

Even so, I figured that after thirty-three years there would be some kind of dependable work-around.

But, no. Science still hasn’t come close to eradicating frizz.

During the past three decades, I’ve asked stylists for advice, and I’ve begged the girls with curls to share their secrets. Plus, I’ve tried a boatload of products which I’m reluctant to discard because that’s like admitting I’m both naive and wasteful. Here are just some of the techniques I’ve attempted:

  • Blow dryer with round brush
  • Blow dryer with even bigger round brush
  • Blow dryer followed by flat-iron
  • Spray-gel to hold curls in place
  • Argan oil smoothed throughout, and hair caught up in a bun to protect it from air (frizz’s evil sidekick)
  • Serum on damp hair
  • Serum on dry hair
  • Shine spray
  • Hair spray
  • Extra-Hold hair spray
  • The InStyler® (I’m thankful I received this as a gift and didn’t waste my own money on it)

Me, upon learning that 3-Day-Straight required manual labor to make it work.

What I haven’t tried is Thermal Reconditioning (a.k.a. the Japanese straightening procedure) because a) I like the option of having curls; and b) I have such a tiny pinhead that a no-volume style would look really weird on me.

It pains me to think about how much time I’ve wasted on my hair. But hair-anoia is an irrational disease, and a bad hair day can ruin what may otherwise be a perfectly decent 24 hours. I’m desperate to find a treatment, and though I may have to concede that I won’t see a cure in my lifetime, I pray there’s a way I can at least live a more comfortable life.

So, dear readers, if you’ve found a way to combat frizz, please share your wisdom and help ease my misery.

Hats off to you, kind people!

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